So, yeah...

... I didn't exactly keep my New Year's resolution. It's not that I haven't been thinking about coming back here. I actually started a couple of posts, which I might get around to finishing eventually, but I couldn't quite make myself make sense.

Since my last post was about falling in love, I suppose it would make sense if this one were about falling out of love. But long ago I promised myself and whatever patient readers I might have that this would not be a whiny blog. So let's just say that I've spent the past several months reminding myself that I'm always right, and if I ever think I'm not right, I should just remember that I'm always right. Even if I want desperately to be wrong for once, it just doesn't happen that way. Except on trivia night.

With all of that being said, it seems like my current predicament shouldn't be nearly as puzzling to me as it is. I was right about the same situation once before, so it seems beyond logical that the answer should be clear this time. And yet I keep telling myself: smart people don't make the same mistake twice. I certainly don't; I'm constantly finding new and creative mistakes to make. Especially on trivia night.

Just because I'm always right doesn't mean that I make good decisions. In fact, I make a lot of bad decisions in the name of trying to convince myself that what I know is right is really just jaded and cynical. Unfortunately, you don't get to be jaded and cynical by being wrong all the time. It comes from being right about people and the ways that they disappoint you. Not whining, just observing.

But, if smart people don't make the same mistake twice, then a certain person (who I happen to think is much smarter than a lot of people realize) should have learned from the last time we found ourselves in this situation. In that case, then the answer I was so right about then should be completely wrong now. Right?

Maybe I was wrong about being ready to make myself make sense, after all.

If two people want the same thing, then it seems like it should be easy to make it happen. But throw in a little bit of cynicism, a touch of misunderstanding, a healthy dose of pride, and more stubbornness than you'd think any two people could have, and suddenly nothing's easy. Which is, I guess, why it's taken me so many months to come back here and even start to try to make sense. But I promise not to stay away again for quite so long. If nothing else, it's only a couple more months till New Year's.